So a week ago my husband very sweetly and very seriously looked up at me and said, “I want to have another baby.” This was not surprising but still made me stop and be like-WHOAAA, am I ready for that? The truth is I have no idea. There are moments I think that I could have three little ones running around (crazy, right?). Then other moments I ask myself, “What have I gotten myself into?” These moods usually correlate to how adorable Landon is being.
Sick/crying Landon= omg what was I thinking?
Cute/melt my heart Landon= aww how could I only have one baby?
Because I’m so on the fence about this and it’s a HUGE decision to bring a life into this world, I am considering a few things:
Do we make enough money to support a second child?
Can we pay for daycare for two kids or would I quit my job?
Is our house big enough for another person?
Is my body ready for all that again?
I still not sure what I want to do. I think more than anything I’m scared of the morning sickness, heart burn, and feeling like a whale. The pregnancy and first three months afterwards are the scary parts for me. But if you take away that part (which is only a year, if you look at the big picture) I have no reason to not have another baby. I will never forget how much I gained when I had my baby. My life finally had a purpose. The things that truly mattered became crystal clear. I never knew my heart could hold so much love in it. I remember being in awe that we created a little person. Honestly, I am still amazed. Every time my son learns something new it blows my mind. He has now learned to climb on top of the coffee table and knows when we grab his shoes it’s time for a walk.
I want him to have at least one sibling. I grew up with a brother and sister and they mean so much to me. My childhood would not have been the same without them. I know what side of the fence I’m leaning on, but am I brave enough to go through that crazy ride all over again? There is a chance I might just be.
Anyone else on the fence?